Dead and Gone

Down the spiral staircase, again, i go.  Now I am on a big huge emotional pity party.  I just want to give up and quit.  Nothing is going right at all.  Gas tank is empty.  Rent is due.  Can't find a roommate.  Can't get child support to come in.  I have no money and no coffee.  Nobody wants to even visit or spend time with me.  A few people say they do but then cancel when I tell them to come over.

I just don't know what to do anymore.  I call people for help when I am depressed and they would rather tell me about their own problems or just blow me off.  And they wonder why I feel this way.

I told Tim I could not stand on my own two feet.  I told him I could not handle life on my own.  He thought he was right.  I bet he still thinks he is right.  Whatever.  Wonder if he'll think that when I am dead and gone.  I know the me on the inside is already dead and gone.