How can you love someone who doesn't love you back? How can you love someone who is never honest with you? How can you tell what is true and what is false when they lie about important things? Do you even really know the real him? Did he even want to change?

How do I go on when I feel so lost? I know I can do this, but emotionally, I am dead. I don't even think I want to be alive inside anymore. I feel so alone and so lost. I have never given someone this much of me. He asked me for it and I gave it to him after 9 years of fighting him on it. Then he did what he swore he'd never do and hurt me more than anyone ever has.

My kids loved you, I loved you, and I fought my friends and family about how awesome you were. Yet you did nothing but lie to me. How much was the truth? I will never know. How much was real? I will never know. Do you feel any pain about losing 4 people who loved you to the moon and back? I will never know, but we have our doubts.

Just so you know, my image of people is forever tarnished. I had problems trusting people before, but now I will never trust anyone again. You were the one person I thought I could trust in this world and you treated me as if I meant nothing to you. How could you be so heartless?